The startups are there and they pay well for someone in his 20s, but by the time you're 35 and looking to raise a family, you've priced yourself out of non-financial jobs (if you need to stay in NYC) unless you're independently wealthy or extremely well-established.

This is much of why I think the future is elsewhere. Not NYC, not the Valley. It's going to be somewhere where it's possible for a normal 40-year-old to have a career as a programmer (not a manager who occasionally codes) because it genuinely takes decades to become great at this stuff. Most of these "social" apps could be built by anyone, but if I needed a medical device, or an extremely high-performance numeric library, I'd rather the code be written by a seasoned gray-haired guy who understands technology at a deep level than by the sorts of people in charge at a lot of the startups where I've worked.