I know nothing about Bitcoin, but here are some questions I can answer!
Wouldn't it be great if it didn't take several days to move a few grand from one account to another?
Absolutely not! I want the bulk of my life savings kept in an asset that is only liquid on the timescale of days, or even longer. I have seriously contemplated trying to find a broker that has no web presence at all, one that would refuse to execute a trade unless I turn up in person - ideally with three forms of ID and a DNA sample.
I'm not a criminal, I don't live in a failed state and the odds that I'll need to flee the country on 24 hours notice are very low. So I want my retirement money to be hard to move.
If one day I decide otherwise - perhaps taking up high-stakes casino gambling, or day trading - I'll withdraw a bunch of cash and bury it in the backyard or something. This will take considerable time and preparation, making it very hard for me to take up high-stakes gambling on a whim at 3am late one night, but that is not a bug but a feature.
Wouldn't it be great if no one could take your money without your permission?
What defines "my permission"? Is Bitcoin a mindreading technology? If someone steals and/or cracks my computer with my Bitcoins on it, they don't get my Bitcoins? Or, rather, deprive me of my Bitcoins, which is exactly as bad from my perspective?
If Bitcoin were a mindreading technology, even that would only go so far. We don't even need to invoke wacky movie-plot truth-serum scenarios, or torturers armed with five-dollar wrenches, to see the problem: I have, alas, extensive life experience with Alzheimer's patients who slowly but surely stopped being "themselves". There's a large and evil cottage industry built around bilking such people. As someone with no kids and no plans to have any, this is actually an important practical issue in my life: I'm going to grow old (hopefully!), I may well become senile, and the day may come when the safest place for my money is in a trust, where even I can't give permission to spend it without first convincing an independent trustee.