I suppose some people must like it, because here it is getting voted to the #2 spot. Dear upvoters, that's your prerogative, and even if I could stop you, I'd have no right to. But I must insist on publicly voicing my disapproval.
1. there is opportunity for genuine discussion here (why can't I write my programs in my native tongue? is it an insurmountable problem to let me type 'colour' and for you to see 'color'?) but that opportunity is never taken up
2. It's wrong. If you're going to make a joke at least get it right - this isn't British English, this is "I looked up some random stuff online" English
3. It's not funny. It can be if done well but this post, like many others, takes a "throw everything I found at the wall and see what sticks" approach. Some of them are great - the switch/case statement is a genuine improvement, in my eyes. Some of them are just pompous wankery, as you so elegantly put it.
> I can clearly see that this article is meant to be a mockery of old, stereotypically British way of speaking
I am insisting that it should be a mockery of old, stereotypically British way of speaking - as it stands, it isn't, it's a mockery of what the author and several other people (yourself included) consider to be a stereotypically British way of speaking. I guess what I'm saying is, if you're gonna take the piss out of me, please do me the honour of doing it well.
The author is a Brit. I know, for I am he. You're welcome to dislike it, of course. My humour isn't the same as everyone else's. But "pompous" is a bit much. Except for the bits where I was aiming for pompous.
insert jokes about forking England's repo and the chaos that ensues
Funny is personal. I found it very funny. And in what way is it wrong? Because British people don't actually speak like that? That's part of the joke. Someone could make an American version with alert("howdy pardner") and I don't think anyone would take it seriously.
I think what the world really needs right now is a dapper programming language.
I'm not really how you could regard this article as pompus self-regarding wankery, but I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree.