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I honestly don't understand your comment. It is very difficult for me to parse properly. How is it not sexist towards women for them to hear comments like this? "If I had a dollar for every time someone suggested that some demographics just aren’t biologically predisposed to be good at programming (even though research does not support this argument), I’d be rich."

I grew up hearing my father tell me that I wasn't good at math because I was a girl. Yes, he's fucking sexist, and so is everyone else who thinks that women can't be good at STEM fields. Props to you for apparently taking the time to carefully study your wife and decide she sucks at STEM because of who she is, and not because she's a woman, but there are plenty of engineers, like my father, who are not so kind. It's a constant, constant thorn to women in STEM, all the time, and I for one believe it is a miracle that they do not complain more.

It's the same for men that want to be nurses is it not? I agree that saying 'girls suck at math' is a bullshit comment, but ignorance is applied equally.

Entrepreneurs, especially, get it from all sides. Part of my frustration stems from being tired of the worst class in America - privileged white male that wasn't born in the ghetto, but the rest of it is just tired of people looking for negativity all the time. It doesn't matter who you are, what gender you are, or what the color of your skin is - if you seek to be better than those around you, or different than the paradigm from which they view the world, then they will seek to put you on your ass.

Ignorance my be applied equally but thanks to privilege as a male you can afford to ignore or dismiss those ignorant comments in a way that a person with less privilege may not be able to. As a male you're told by society that you're allowed to go out, break all the rules and take what you want whereas as a woman you're meant to be quiet, demure and "proper".

Bringing up alternate social injustices is generally considered a tactic of diversion. It's not that these other injustices aren't important (they are very important) but it happens with such regularity that it's considered de-railing to the conversation.

How about channelling your frustration into creating an environment for more women in tech?

I've heard those exact sentiments expressed on this very website, from people who were sitting at positive karma.

It really isn't hard to see sexism in technology. It's a shame every time this subject comes up, guys clamor to be the first to post [dismissive reason] or [request for extremely specific example of sexism]. I mean, this submission is about a woman chronicling sexism against her, and there are guys in here just flat out saying, "This isn't sexist."

You're just sick of hearing about sexism in tech. How do you think the people who receive it feel?

Sure, some regular shitty stuff applies to everyone and can get conflated with the sexist stuff, but there is still a clear strain of discouraging behaviour directed at women in tech.

The problem is when it gets institutionalized. What's more likely, that your wife just happens to be someone who's not good at math and science, or someone who didn't receive enough encouragement to think she could do well in those subjects? Honestly, I have no idea, since I have no idea who your wife is. But the question cannot be dismissed outright.

Studies that find things such as "Women perform better in math when tested without men"[1] are an indication that something is very wrong at a very fundamental level.

[1] http://brown.edu/Administration/News_Bureau/2000-01/00-023.h...

She just wasn't interested, and still isn't. We've been together since school, and I watched her grow up...it had nothing to do with the teacher or institution.

I know it probably isn't popular, but men and women are biologically different. I find it arrogant to believe that humans of the past decade are so intellectually superior that human physiology is of no consequence.

my girlfriend was miserable in her grad school program. it was becoming more and more apparent to her that she should have taken economic development but she'd avoided it because she was 'bad at math'. we spent the next three months doing a crash course of all the math she was 'bad' at and she went from barely understanding algebra to having a better grasp of statistics and calculus than i do. she was only 'bad at math' because she'd spent the first 25 years of her life around people who had let her be bad at math because she was a girl

Like I said, I don't know your wife, so I can't comment.

But she's not the point, anyway.

The point is that you hear of "girls not being good at math and science" much more frequently. But when you control for societal factors, there's nothing that really separates male and female math abilities.

> I'm so tired of hearing about sexism in tech > that's the way it goes. > I haven't seen any of this. Maybe I've missed it, or I'm not looking, who knows.

Or possibly you're predisposed to an opinion and only look to reinforce it instead of challenge it?

That could go both ways.

My point is that I look all around me and I do not see anyone in my circle being sexist to women about their role in tech(or lack thereof). I coach a mixed basketball team and the girls are the best and most poised athletes on the team. Not a single one of the boys has complained or made a comment about it.

I watch my daughter grow up, in her 2nd year of school, as she takes to reading/writing over math. She's good at both, but she prefers the former.

I'm not saying sexism doesn't exist, I'm just saying that I don't see it to the scale that has the entire industry freaking out.

If anything, the SendGrid situation proved that it can go both ways.

> I do not see anyone ... I don't see it to the scale

What scale do you see it? And what's the acceptable/unacceptable threshold? Right now you are jumping squarely into "this isn't an issue please move on and grow thicker skin", which is a lousy place to start a discussion.

> entire industry freaking out.

I really don't think my or your opinion matters, instead perhaps we should encourage more bloggers like this to speak out so we can see if there really is a problem. You know, encourage more data from the source instead of anecdotes like your wife and math?

Because if there is a problem then we should solve it, right?

The problem with heavy drinking is that it reduces females' safety far more than it reduces males' safety, even if both sexes are consuming.