Marriage isn't an option really as I'm already married. Even as a thought experiment, it'd mean my family having to leave the country while I remarry and so forth.

If it comes to that I'd prefer to just leave with them and start elsewhere (english speaking and decent weather).

As you say though, the system really is unfriendly to immigrants. Even those with a US graduate education and cash to demonstrate they would not be a drain. And don't even get me started on the taxes I've paid.