The truth is that personality stays relatively stable over time. The author seems to believe that people are born as blank slates and thus we can easily change our behaviour and personality..The reality is that we are not born as blank slates. We are born with many innate qualities (i.e., temperament, intelligence). I do agree that we can change some of our habits. But there are aspects of ourselves that we simply can't change. For myself, I think it is anxiety and depression. It is part of me. I can do things to minimize it but I will still be prone to it. I think my future partner really just has to accept this imperfect aspect of me.. I feel sorry that he will have to deal it with me.. But in turn, I will also accept his imperfections. Isn't relationship more about tolerance and compromise?