Actually, nix that. The practical result is that kids are taught to lie about their age. Fortunately this skill will come in handy when it's time to get a fake ID and buy booze.
Honestly, I would think this crowd would be more disappointed that "banned from nearly any site" has become synonymous with "unwilling to submit all your personally identifiable information."
BTW, your website is likely already collecting personal information, including name, email address, and web pages visited. And yes, as soon as you subsequently find out that someone is under 13, you're in trouble.
You being unwilling to submit personal information also makes you banned from almost all the web, including e-mail services.
Because you make it sound like that.
UPD: Let me show you an example: Pretend we're talking about some law and you're arguing it's not designed to protect me, but to protect my body. My first thought: the hell are you going to do with my body? Because, my body is what makes me me. If you protect it but not me perhaps you're going to sell my organs away.
By your analogy, COPPA would be the law that prevents people from collecting and selling children's organs. Because kids are gullible and and it's easy to convince them out of a kidney or two.
Except replace "organs" with "personally identifiable information companies want in order to market shit to you."
Tragic.
You managed to think yourself into a corner where a law protecting personal privacy from corporate misuse is an attack against your freedom.
I'm leaving now; don't follow me.