You really need to talk to a securities lawyer. If the above could be construed as advertising your share offering, you've just triggered one of the requirements for SEC registration. The legal fees involved would be in the tens of thousands of dollars, way more than what you're hoping to raise.

There are ways to do this as an unregistered offering, but that restricts you to friends and family, "accredited investors" (see http://www.sec.gov/answers/accred.htm), and a few others - definitely not strangers on the internet.