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Comment by Frozenlock | Hacker News Reader

I don't know why you got downvoted.

When you have a relationship with a man/woman, it's with this individual, not with every single other human being on the planet.

If I'm not with anyone and I try to seduce your girlfriend, it's HER job to say no. Unless you don't think she is smart enough to make her own decisions. But in this case we have other problems...

As opposed to jetti, I'm not sure the wife would just have found somebody else. But regardless, she was the one in couple with the boss.

I'm confused by most of the reactions I see here. It's as if they expect the boss to be able to tell employees who they can fuck.

Kudos to this boss for at least considering that firing the guy is not the only solution.

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> As opposed to jetti, I'm not sure the wife would just have found somebody else.

Irrelevant.

Here's the problem:

"At the same time, every time I see his face, I feel like that just kills me inside."

It is silly to think that this doesn't affect productivity and won't affect the business in the future, especially with communication between these two individuals. A person's well being does is in fact a work matter, the acknowledgment of which makes the employees position absolutely untenable. You cannot possibly sleep with a fellow employee's spouse (regardless of whether it is a superior or not) and not expect that to be a work matter.

> It's as if they expect the boss to be able to tell employees who they can fuck.

This isn't about telling the employee who they can fuck. It's about fostering a productive and positive work environment. Knowingly choosing to create animosity between yourself and a superior (or any fellow employee for that matter) in such a hurtful manner is simply stupid.

This employee should be fired immediately.

I'm not disagreeing with any of the possible impact on the boss's productivity, but rather how a majority of response here are of the kind: "Fire him, be the alpha male! Ouga ouga!" Firing him might be the correct answer; but it's in no way evident.

Try this thought experiment: suppose you have 2 employees. Would you fire one of them if he sleeps with the other's girlfriend, or would you consider this a 'personal matter' and not interfere?

> Would you fire one of them if he sleeps with the other's girlfriend, or would you consider this a 'personal matter' and not interfere?

If I am a small business and only have ~50 employees, I would probably fire them. It's only a personal matter until it affects work. This would obviously affect work.

You would fire BOTH of them?

I would ask him to resign, and if he doesn't he'd be fired. Clearly it won't be good for my business to have these 2 working together. The fact that he's clearly showing bad judgement means it's an easy decision as to which one should go.

So here is a question that would be left to an employment lawyer but I'm going to through it out in response to what you have said: Assuming this is in the US, would the employee's actions fall under the familial status protected class? If so, it would be illegal to fire the employee.

No. It falls under gross misconduct, and he should show him the door.

If you and I go into business together, or if we're best friends, or you're my mentor or I'm yours, then we have a relationship. If you fuck my wife, that's absolutely a betrayal of our relationship, and casts serious doubts on your personal integrity. You maintained a deceitful and duplicitous relationship with me while fucking my wife, and I would fire you for that reason alone: I can't trust you anymore because you have near-sociopathic abilities to carry out an extended deception.

At first glance this behaviour of not owing anything to anyone and not respecting social contracts seems sociopathic to me. It's obvious the affair will cause grief and might even break a family. At worst it can ruin the lives of children, lead to suicide, etc.

What exactly makes you think you're a great individual if you seduce a married woman?

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