Don’t you feel any joy that you get to see the proof and not die with that mystery unsolved?

Don’t you feel any relief that you won’t obsess on this any longer and not lose more hours on this than you already have?

These are genuine questions. I know I spent a good amount of time thinking about P vs NP, and that sometimes I go back to it just to realize I’ll never solve it. I’d feel that knowing the proof would feel more like a liberation, a weight lifted off my shoulders than something being taken away from me.