I also use TotalFinder (tabbed finder replacement) as well as Asepsis (prevents .DS_Store files) from binaryage.com.
I'm a Java dev, flipping back and forth between IntelliJ and Eclipse. Using Eclipse since the pre-1.0 alpha, I still find it more comfortable. But IntelliJ's rate of improvement has prompted me to use it more.
I've become good friends with SSH. We do lots of deploy/ops work at this gig. I'd love to figure out how to put the remote host's hostname into the tab/title/prompt. I haven't tried zsh yet, not excited about putting zsh on all the remotes (which are a mix of Windows and Linux).
Our databases are Oracle, SQL Server, some legacy mainframe stuff. I use Squirrel SQL. I don't like it much. I haven't found any generic SQL clients as clean and smooth as MySQL's Sequel Pro client.