The problem with this view is that the VAST majority of deaths in war are civilian deaths, which do not bound themselves by gender. It's only in recent decades that it's possible to contemplate conflicts with as few as 1 civilian death per combatant death, and even then, that's the extreme exception, not the rule.
In non-state warfare, the civilian casualty ratio is even worse--imagine living in "Eastern Europe in World War 2"-style casualty rates as the baseline of your existence. The typical battle in such circumstances isn't "two opposing armies meet on a battlefield, one army emerges victorious;" it's "we're going to sneak into your village, set fire to all your food stores, rape some of your women (maybe steal them for brides), and maybe whack off several of your children."
> In modern society, of course, conflict mostly means playing video games in an armchair.
I rather think most Ukrainian soldiers would disagree with you here.