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Pick an ideology that allows for selfish wants. For example, long-term greed would actually allow a lot more win-win coordination than currently happens.

Incidentally, the consequentialist theories of ethics that EA is founded on are especially bad at this. Usually, consequentialism excludes supererogation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demandingness_objection

One of the most effective (heh) programs of EA, predating the "EA" name itself, is an explicit halfway measure here, called "Giving What We Can", which advocates for people to donate less to charity than the maximum amount they could; specifically, 10% of their income: https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/

It can be done, but only partially, and it's really @#%ing hard. Christianity no longer offers indulgences, for instance.

Not starting with completely faulty ideologies where egotism and manipulation and coercion are baked-in.