I... did you pick the first example of conflict that came to your head and there were many deeper problems, or do you think not being able to adjust the thermostat is some kind of huge red flag/worse?
Obviously it is not the only thing, but an example of using control instead of reason or consensus.
For the record I did not forbid my daughter to use social media. I told her why I did not use it myself. She finally got a facebook account because it was required to engage with her university courses. She was livid.
> Obviously it is not the only thing, but an example of using control instead of reason or consensus.
When the preference in question is temperature, not many households include children in the consensus process. Adults deciding that is quite normal with few grudges.
I don't know how to interpret "instead of reason". If you mean that literally, I strongly doubt the temperature setting was chosen without reasoning things through.
That was at least something I could address when I became a parent.
My daughter mentioned to me a few weeks ago that she was confused by the fact that all of her friends seek her out when they need to know the right thing to do. I told her it is because she has a moral compass that you can see from space.
This is genius: (a) Treat your kid like an intelligent human being, and (b) don’t be a hypocrite.
It sounds like if you’d been my parent, maybe I would’ve respected you and taken your opinion seriously. As it is, I just quoted your anecdote (with link and attribution) in another venue where this HN thread got linked.
I will never forgive my parents for what they did to me when I was a teenager—allegedly “for my own good”. I thought I was smarter than they were. I was right.