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b112

I cannot envision what a traditional, but smart toilet may do.

By traditional, not Japanese or anything of the sort. I'm sure it's also not taking medical samples.

So what on earth could it do?! Report the flushes!?! Why? Are you going to magically decide not to crap as much?

Just baffling.

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It is kinda funny that “smart” is the branding we’ve converged on for these devices that have unnecessary computer features. Most engineers would, I guess, call it pretty stupid to add a computer to the BoM of your toilet.

Auto-flush, seat warmer, scheduled seat warmer, cleaning cycle, scent dispenser, "you haven't been going as often" sensing, auto high/low flush depending on time on toilet...

Just off the top of my head, and I'm no toilet engineer. I'm sure there are lots of possibilities with just a sensor or two.

There are smart toilet devices that have cameras, so, it's about as bad as one could imagine.

Probably connected to your wi-fi and with a default password, as is customary for IoT.

I could see someone trying to sell a toilet that reduces the water amount depending on your business as an eco feature.

Or one that automatically ads cleaning products and notifies you on your phone when you need to refill them.

Gastroenterologists generally categorize feces into ~7 categories. They can be indicators of a variety of dietary deficencies, including dehydration or insufficient fiber intake. Others can be indicators of a variety of medical issues, up to an including colon cancer. Ubiquitous smart toilets scanning and categorizing our feces would move the needle of overall public health and well-being.

Yes indeed they would, all the issues with sensor longevity aside.

But, that's not now. So why the app now?

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call enshittification!

The whole point of the label "smart" is to fill in vague positive thoughts for the customary "..." that comes right before "profit" in the standard /. business plan. And the real problem is that it works.

> I cannot envision what a traditional, but smart toilet may do

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't flush that".

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