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Comment by Tichy | Hacker News Reader

Could you give some examples? I guess my kid is still too young (2 years old), but I wonder, why not sometimes just let them be? I have sometimes been a little bit stressed out, but it wasn't his fault, and it didn't go as far as wanting to hurt him. I can not really imagine a lot of situations that would make me want to do that. Like if he is singing in the car - perhaps he just doesn't want to go where you want him to go? I mean I wonder if parents simply get angry because their kids are disobedient, but really they also don't respect their kids very much?

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I can't speak for gorvechev but I can see why parents think of these things. It became exponentially more difficult with the addition of our second child. The older one is mostly sweet to the baby and she is super pleasant but there are times she is a "terrible" two. I'm not talking about not wanting to go somewhere, moreso throwing a toy on the baby or something like that. I have to protect both children but how do you handle a toddler picking on a baby? It becomes very hard.

We don't spank our kids but there are times I really want to.

I admit that is something I also worry about, should we ever have a second kid.

2-year-olds are easy. They haven't yet learned how to really push your buttons and cause mayhem. For example, they can't throw things really well yet. Wait a year or two...

Kids are impulsive, no matter what you tell them, how many times you talk with them about proper behavior and how to solve problems without shoving, kicking, hitting, pinching, throwing things at their younger siblings, because they wanted to play with your purple pony instead of the red, blue, yellow or white pony. Or she'll get in her mind to horse around and run around the house until she runs into a doorknob or something which will result in the umpteenth discussion about: "why did you do that? I told you you're going to hurt yourself" while she cries her lungs out.

The older they get, the more potential for mayhem. Wait till they can drive a car...I shudder at the thought.

You can't control your kids 100% of the time (after they learn how to walk), unless you put them in a straightjacket (yes, thought of that once or twice). They will hurt themselves, they will hurt others, they will probably hurt you, they will misbehave, they will drive you crazy. And when they do, only saints don't think about doing crazy things.

Why control them 100% of the time? Sure, the discussion is pointless because all kids are different, but somehow I would expect them to have some kind of survival instinct.

I didn't say I wanted to control them 100% of the time.

Young children do NOT have a survival instinct. The smarter ones will develop one after they hurt themselves a few times.

Well time will tell. It still seems odd that the natural reaction to them doing dangerous things against your will is wanting to kill them.

why not sometimes just let them be

Because stuff gets broken. My 2 year old daughter has worked out that while lying on the floor screaming generally doesn't get you too much attention, trying to throw an expensive vase or the TV on the floor will.

Attention for what, though? Also, you are probably better off without a TV :-)

Basically anytime she isn't the center of attention. Like if I'm trying to talk to my wife. Although to be fair it's actually more cute than it sounds.

Also I like curling up in the sofa after my daughter has gone to bed and watching a good movie far too much to consider getting rid of the TV.

if he is singing in the car

If singing in the car is even registers as misbehaving or disobedient on your scale then I think you should count yourself incredibly lucky that you have very well behaved child.

I was referring to the blog posts, I think the mom wanted to choke her kid for singing in the car.

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