Want the Truth Behind “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother”? Read her blog. | Hacker News Reader

Want the Truth Behind “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother”? Read her blog.

sarahkendzior.com

30 pointscaublestone23 comments

There's a very big difference between imagining murdering people because they are annoying you and actually threatening it (like she claims her son has done). So I'll give her a pass on that. An amusing anecdote from Steven Pinker: http://youtu.be/LJvqR6Y9acw

>In surveys of homicidal fantasies, the question "Have you ever fantasized about killing someone who you don't like?"... 75% of men admit to at least occasionally having fantasized about killing someone. What does this say about human nature? It says that 25% of men are liars.

I'm not sure which son is which. It would be pretty damning if the Steve Jobs kid was also supposed to be the mentally ill kid. None of the behavior she describes there is unusual or to me even disagreeable. The damn kid sounds like a genius who happens to be liberal (who is young and isn't?) and has an obsession with Steve Jobs (I'm guilty). But some people are saying in the comments that they are separate kids.

>If I am wrong about this, I truly apologize.

I'm thinking an apology may be on the way.

I obviously don't know this woman and can't speak to the truth of anything she wrote, but the citations in this post don't really seem like the poster has uncovered anything but the fact that, like all people dealing with really tough situations, sometimes you just wanna throttle your kid for their, you know... being a kid.

I was moved by the original post, but this follow-up seems a bit reaching for my taste.

Actually, no, you don't just sometimes end up to want to throttle your kid.

I'm a parent. My kids are good kids.

But they will drive me absolutely crazy pretty much every day. To a point where I think of doing all kinds unthinkable things to them. I also often fantasize just leaving, and living happily ever after.

I will, of course, never do any of that, and I would do absolutely anything for my kids, incl. protecting their lives over mine.

Sarah Kendzior either has no kids, or has some other motives for posting that garbage.

This was my first instinct as well. She has must have no kids.

Could you give some examples? I guess my kid is still too young (2 years old), but I wonder, why not sometimes just let them be? I have sometimes been a little bit stressed out, but it wasn't his fault, and it didn't go as far as wanting to hurt him. I can not really imagine a lot of situations that would make me want to do that. Like if he is singing in the car - perhaps he just doesn't want to go where you want him to go? I mean I wonder if parents simply get angry because their kids are disobedient, but really they also don't respect their kids very much?

I can't speak for gorvechev but I can see why parents think of these things. It became exponentially more difficult with the addition of our second child. The older one is mostly sweet to the baby and she is super pleasant but there are times she is a "terrible" two. I'm not talking about not wanting to go somewhere, moreso throwing a toy on the baby or something like that. I have to protect both children but how do you handle a toddler picking on a baby? It becomes very hard.

We don't spank our kids but there are times I really want to.

I admit that is something I also worry about, should we ever have a second kid.

why not sometimes just let them be

Because stuff gets broken. My 2 year old daughter has worked out that while lying on the floor screaming generally doesn't get you too much attention, trying to throw an expensive vase or the TV on the floor will.

Attention for what, though? Also, you are probably better off without a TV :-)

Basically anytime she isn't the center of attention. Like if I'm trying to talk to my wife. Although to be fair it's actually more cute than it sounds.

Also I like curling up in the sofa after my daughter has gone to bed and watching a good movie far too much to consider getting rid of the TV.

if he is singing in the car

If singing in the car is even registers as misbehaving or disobedient on your scale then I think you should count yourself incredibly lucky that you have very well behaved child.

I was referring to the blog posts, I think the mom wanted to choke her kid for singing in the car.

2-year-olds are easy. They haven't yet learned how to really push your buttons and cause mayhem. For example, they can't throw things really well yet. Wait a year or two...

Kids are impulsive, no matter what you tell them, how many times you talk with them about proper behavior and how to solve problems without shoving, kicking, hitting, pinching, throwing things at their younger siblings, because they wanted to play with your purple pony instead of the red, blue, yellow or white pony. Or she'll get in her mind to horse around and run around the house until she runs into a doorknob or something which will result in the umpteenth discussion about: "why did you do that? I told you you're going to hurt yourself" while she cries her lungs out.

The older they get, the more potential for mayhem. Wait till they can drive a car...I shudder at the thought.

You can't control your kids 100% of the time (after they learn how to walk), unless you put them in a straightjacket (yes, thought of that once or twice). They will hurt themselves, they will hurt others, they will probably hurt you, they will misbehave, they will drive you crazy. And when they do, only saints don't think about doing crazy things.

Why control them 100% of the time? Sure, the discussion is pointless because all kids are different, but somehow I would expect them to have some kind of survival instinct.

I didn't say I wanted to control them 100% of the time.

Young children do NOT have a survival instinct. The smarter ones will develop one after they hurt themselves a few times.

Well time will tell. It still seems odd that the natural reaction to them doing dangerous things against your will is wanting to kill them.

In the viral post, the Mom wrote "I need help" and "This problem is too big for me to handle on my own". That's really the key thing here, independent of how her marriage turned out or whether she uses a blog to vent. She's losing control of the situation and is concerned her son will do something stupid in an act of rage. Her post is a plea to the general public to help people with mental illnesses, because sometimes the people in their vicinity aren't able to. Making her look bad detracts from that message, but does not take away from it (IMHO).

Most of these "fantasies" come across as tongue-in-cheek rants of a frustrated mother.

Dysfunctional family, yeah. Over-sharing on a public blog? Certainly. Mentally ill? Not so sure.

This is ridiculous. Parenting is really freaking hard. I'm a father of two small kids but I can't imagine being a single mom of four kids, with one mentally ill, like Liza. I commend her for being so honest and using her writing to get through such a difficult thing like parenting.

This article seems more like an Ad-Hominem attack upon Liza Long than any kind of critique on the points raised in I Am Adam Lanza's Mother.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_syndrome_by_pro...

I think that a better critique of "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother" can be found here [1], and discussed on hacker news here [2]. I think it is more productive to focus on the content of the original post than the author.

[1] http://thegirlwhowasthursday.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/you-ar...

[2] http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4929592

Reply on news.ycombinator.com