There is a notable percentage of people who regret having kids, despite initially deciding to have them.
It is not possible to fully anticipate what it's like. For some parents, an unexpected change in circumstances may also change perspectives. E.g. their own parents may fall ill and add to the caretaking burden instead of sharing in it.
None of the personal examples I have in mind had circumstances that explain the resentment these men expressed. I think you're right that they simply failed to anticipate how parenthood would be, or maybe they didn't even recognize it as something worth consideration.
Until you've lived that life, it is best not to judge. Just like I couldn't judge how I would personally react to being a parent until I became one.
Btw, my regret fluctuates, and there are periods where I would not change things at all. I hope, with time, those periods grow longer until they're the only periods.
I always say that people choose to have kids, they don't choose to have teenagers
I say this unironically. The “Move fast and break things” approach works wonders for the relationship between parents and children.
You can follow every parenting guide under the sun and still be left with a moody teenager that argues back at everything you tell them
> a moody teenager that argues back at everything you tell them
As an adult, do you like to be "told"?
Ask your kid how he likes to be treated.