FWIW I have a potential solution: to show live data in my app I use an SSE stream of OOB swaps. On every relevant change to the database I regenerate the HTML and compare it to the previously generated html to create OOB swaps (including hx-preserve). I send that down so the browser can update.
The same approach could be used for normal POSTs. On a POST generate the HTML before and after modifying the database and diff them to generate OOB swaps.