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What kind of, ahem, "non consumer hardware" should I buy to run a virtual machine?

A 15 year old Thinkpad is the HN approved machine for Serious Work.

I only recently passed my good old T420s down the generation and switched to T14 Gen 2, the one that still has S3 ACPI Sleep Mode.

RIP S3 sleep. You'll be missed.

There was a good article here yesterday on Colossus.

Beer->hold()