This way of thinking is what's wrong with USA (among many other things).
You don't (or at least shouldn't) hire lots of people because it's cheap.
Only ~1% of people in the US make federal minimum wage. ~58% of that 1% are serving related occupations who collect tips that are not counted in BLS wage data.
You need to use median wage - which is ~$24 for all occupations.
Edit: to the down voters, what is your answer to the question?
Brilliant argument you have there.
Your water example actually reinforces my point. If GP ignores the reality around drinking too much water, they will poison themselves, just like ignoring the reality around minimum wage would destroy things.
Yet here you are stating that because a higher minimum wage is good, it must be more good to make the minimum wage "a million an hour" too right? Which doesn't follow at all based on literally any other example of things that are "good". It's mind-numbingly stupid. It's a ridiculous straw-man made by someone either disingenuous or ignorant.