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Comment by jonathanlydall | Hacker News Reader

Depends on the kid and their age.

Me to my 3.5-year-old boy after evening bath (winter here right now): Your feet are going to get cold, don't you want to put on your slippers to keep them warm?

Him: No!

And if I put them on he'll take them off as soon as I'm not stopping him from doing so.

For putting on warm enough jacket for school I try similar reasoning which has yet to work with any kind of consistency, still mostly lands up having a bit of a tantrum all the way until I hand him over to his teacher.

His two-year older sister was a lot less difficult at his age.

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I think tantrum comes when they are tired / disconnected from adult monologue. I have almost zero issues when I talk about interesting stuff instead of engaging in debate:

we will pick up that book about the monster, it is really scary (slippers on already) and we will sit on the sofa (already carrying the child). Are you cold? Let’s find that pink sweater…

Sometimes you just need to let them experience that you are right first, as long they're just making themselves miserable for a bit.

Also, it works wonders to let them make a choice between two acceptable solutions instead of giving them space to say no.

"Do you want the slippers or the thick socks?"

It doesn't always work, but kids that age are learning to set boundaries, and giving them the illusion of agency often helps.

Have you tried asking your son if the slippers and/or the coat might be uncomfortable to him in some way? You seem to assume that he randomly throws tantrums just to annoy you, but maybe he has a reason.

"If you don't put on your slippers, your toes will fall off and then you won't be able to walk like everybody else!"

Sometimes the old-world spook stories work.

I wouldn't recommend getting wrong things into their heads, because you (or someone else) will eventually have to teach them that it was not true, or they will discover it themselves, and that will undermine trust in the other things you said.

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