Married for 30 years. 3 brothers, 2 sisters, 13 nieces and nephews. Still haven't resorted to asking people what they want. What's the point? They can get that for themselves.
I agree with you that it is nice to be surprised. I am just pointing out that there are legitimate uses for the "clinical" approach to gift giving: wedding and baby registries are quite common. If you don't know the newlyweds/parents nor the contents of their house very well, the registry can go a long way to giving them a gift that they actually need and will use.
Cheers
Still, the idea that somebody has set up a list of 'acceptable gifts' sticks in my craw.
I have a friend that always gives a wooden trencher board as a wedding gift for anybody. Different enough not to be duplicated.