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Comment by throwaway209329 | Hacker News Reader

throwaway209329

As an autistic person this has never made sense, the things people are willing to do in order to fit into a group, like at it's extreme murdering others. After becoming aware of my diagnosis I've started studying "normal" people and it's insane what you are willing to withstand just to belong to a group or in society. Now I think that some things "normal" people participate in they think is actually fun, like hanging around others doing nothing productive, which after reaching 40 years old, and having a burnout, I also now enjoy just hanging around and belonging to a group. Also social capital, or belonging to a group, has many positive advantages.

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> the things people are willing to do in order to fit into a group

Given our evolutionary history as social animals, this is expected. The genes (and memes, in the Dawkinsian sense of the word) for alienating oneself from the tribe and going solo were less successful than the those for remaining in the tribe. We can reasonably expect such adaptations to include sucking up to alphas to avoid being banished from the tribe, being distressed when outside a group, and feeling good when in a group.

Hate to tell you, there's no such thing as "normal". Other people aren't some monolithic group that think one way.

I don't get it, so do you think "hanging around" is fun or not?

Neurotypical is the word you're looking for, not "normal".

"normal" is a perfectly fine word and there's no reason to criticize someone for using it.

It would be somewhat ironic in this context to be policing the use of normal.

I also would acknowledge the intent of offering neurotypical as an alternative might be kind.

However I also agree "normal" works quite well. It is especially distinguished by the quotes as "normal" and subjective, not normatively valued.

What's normal?

It's a math term whose meaning depends on the qualities of the other people around you, not a reference to any one particular set of characteristics: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normal_distribution

"Neurotypical" is the more current and precise term when discussing human behavior, cognition, or neurodevelopment. "Normal" is vague, value-loaded, and scientifically weaker because it implies that neurodivergent people are abnormal rather than simply different. In this context, "neurotypical" is clearer language.

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