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I thought of the girl who worked in his office who had the huge scar down one side of her face. I thought of how I loved her and wanted to lick her scar

The only appropriate response is: wut?

But in all seriousness this story is lacking some good storytelling and any teaching (besides perl being a good programming language to create websites in 1997).

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Perl continues to be a good programming language for creating websites, and creating in general. Indeed it’s one of the few dynamic languages that I find really suitable for large-scale development—not a small feat.

I thought it was fine storytelling, for what it was. I don't think I would want the whole front page full of stories like this, but I found it oddly refreshing to read a story on Hacker News that wasn't trying to teach or promote anything.

A story needs to submerge the reader in the story and emotions in the life of the protagonist; it needs to flow to grab the reader and good grammar is also a must. This is an example of a story not flowing (plus some grammar mistakes):

We delivered to Shlomo. He couldn’t believe how fast we did it. He couldn’t believe we also did the GIA certificates the way we did. He paid us in cash — $35,000. I took, $17,500. He gave us more work.

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