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Torontonians are hardwired to be incapable of speaking like this.

And law enforcement are trained to speak a language with sounds like english, but isn't, and which makes no sense.

(A long-ish read, but totally worth it. the "punch line" is beautiful.)

Speed and brownness were involved in a jumping‑related incident with a lazy dog and a fox.

Poetry.

I would say Canadians but British Columbians (yes this is the actual term) are even worse