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Both coffee and tea have thousands of other constituent parts which could play a role.

The decaffeination process also removes more parts than just the caffeine.

Anecdotally, I never feel more awake when having coffee. I can drink coffee at night and sleep great. On the other hand, if I try to sleep too soon after tea I feel very mentally awake and can’t sleep for restlessness. Maybe Qi is real!

3 cups of coffee a day is way too many

For toddlers, absolutely.

A cup of coffee has 95mg caffeine, and the FDA has long held 400mg as a reasonable stopping point for the day.

I guess I'm not really concerned about three cups of coffee in that case.

That's not even enough for doctors to consider "drinking coffee" on a chart lol.