I have not really made lifetime friends there either but I'm not a team player. If I were in the military everyone would hate me (like they did when I was forced to play team sports at school).
Maybe they got better at being secret
They were, overall, strictly harmful. Yes, there is a point where it feels good to be in them. However, they are designed for abuse, for making it difficult to leave and for making it easy to pressure members to participate on harmful acts.
The stuff Epstien did and connection he had is the modern equivalent of that. A group of powerful people tied together due to shared infraction and shared need to protect each other. It worked well for them, helped their careers, made them have social connections and friends.