i.e. if you apply the zeta function to a complex number, and you get zero, then that number must have been either a negative even integer or had a half as its real part.
What could be simpler than that? Those are all fairly simple concepts, and the definition of the function itself is nothing too exotic. I think any highschooler should be able to understand the statement and compute some values of zeta numerically. I'd like to see a statement about couches written so succinctly with only well-defined terms!
(I'm being intentionally a bit silly, but part of the magic of the Riemann Hypothesis is that it's relatively easy to understand its statement, it's the search for a proof that's astonishingly deep.)
As penance I did go an have a look for suitable numerical techniques for calculating zeta with Re(s)<1 and there are some, e.g. https://people.maths.bris.ac.uk/~fo19175/talks/slides/PGS_ta...
At risk of being tongue-in-cheek, a monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors, what's the problem?