Comment by lynx97 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by lynx97 | Hacker News Reader

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> initial reaction is hard to hide and is profoundly impactful to the people who see it a million times

I can relate this very much, and I am "just" 100% blind. I believe what we are talking about is not "neurotypicals" vs "non-neurotypicals", it is really the way society treats anyone with a pertceived disability. We are, even though society tries to keep the mask on, outcasts, and we are regularily enough treated like that we learn on a deep level that we are just not part of the rest of society. Sure, there is a "spectrum" of how good a person with a disability might cope, but at the end of the day, if I throw myself into the masses and have random interactions, I always learn the same lesson: random strangers will keep treating me in a very uncomfortable way. Sure, many people try their best. Some even come across as creepy by trying so hard. But the statistics never changes. I will never feel like a "normal" person, they will make sure I never will.

> I will never feel like a "normal" person, they will make sure I never will.

Saying "make sure" suggests intent. I would hope the discomfort causing reactions are an unintentional side effect of ignorance. Because if so then there's hope that even the masses can learn to be more considerate and inclusive.

Ultimately, nearly all of us will develop some physical or mental impairment due to accidents or aging.

If you have been treated repeatedly in an uncomfortable way by strangers, and sometimes even your own family, intent at some point no longer matters to you. It is the end result that counts. I dont have any sympathy for weirdos, they are what they are, but they definitely dont deserve me explaining away their shortcomings. I am the one that has to do home and wrestle with my reaction to them crossing borders they are to dense to even realize exist.

In a society based around ranking others perceived worth and value, having a disability gets conflated with "being a burden". Silently overcoming a disability and adapting to an unsuitable world becomes the "hustle culture" variant of modern-day working life. Praised for being ultra self-sufficient and "paying our way".

It's harrowing how people prefer donating resources over exerting mental effort to bridge simple psychological boundaries in understanding the different needs of others, especially for disabilities (which nobody chooses to have). I often wonder if the root of this is the individual fear it could happen to us. By exercising empathy, we are reminded that ourselves and our families are vulnerable to disability at any time--from birth to life events this second (injury, illness, luck), existence is vulnerability.

Our intrinsic fears combined with societies lacking safety nets and breathing space has created a positive feedback loop for hyper-individualistic living. Our own bubbles. I try to do the opposite, but it's not easy.

> I will never feel like a "normal" person, they will make sure I never will.

I'm going to tangent a bit here but so far in my life, after observing lots of people discussing things related to this, every single person feels this way.

Every person thinks they're atypical. That they're experiencing things other people don't. That they're different in some way to "everyone else".

Exactly what this means is up to the reader, but it sure implies some interesting ideas here.

Hi there - I’m really sorry about your negative experiences. I read the replies to your comment and felt sad that I didn’t read one that recognised how much work you’re putting into what sounds like an indifferent society - and how unfair that is. I also hope I’m not crossing the line of too much/trying too hard. Frankly, it sounds like a shit place to be.

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