Hacker News Reader

Comment by beepbooptheory | Hacker News Reader

Why is this particularly a problem for women? Seems like this would apply to both genders?

This is distracting word-play. It's a problem for anybody wanting to have a child, including pairs of people. The parent's usage of the word "women" doesn't conflict with this unless you are a robot.

> One of the main arguments i've heard against the narrative that the feminist movement freed women to do whatever they want is that instead they are now expected to work for a living...I know you can poke holes in that argument, but i feel it has some substance.

Outside of the maternity leave issue there's a cultural issue with stay at home dads. I believe in essentially all countries, if the family isn't financially secure, it's assumed the dad's a bum, so leaving the financial situation to your better half feels like it can backfire.

Worded like this it sounds stupid but it's just one of those things..

There used to be similar assumptions around women working - it was seen as neglecting their family. Culture can change.

Good point.

Men can't have children.

That really should only matter for the direct maternity leave and maybe some disruption at work during pregnancy. The years of child raising after that point is probably more important for this?

By that stage most mothers have already formed emotional bonds to their children which can't easily (at all?) be replaced even by a father. Raising a child isn't some sort of equation, Marx.

So have paternity leave too so men can form those bonds.

Men can care for and raise children.

Which is a great backup, but they tend to be physically, psychologically and emotionally less suited to it. Most men are less motherly than most women. We are not blank slates.

Evidence?

Men are less "motherly" because we are discouraged by society from being that. Even your choice of words shows your prejudice.

I was my kids primary parent when married and a single dad after divorce. I am MUCH better suited to raising kids than my ex-wife was. That is largely a result of how I was raised to have empathy and care about people.

> Even your choice of words shows your prejudice.

My implication that being motherly is good for a primary child raiser shows my prejudice? It's actually just a random phenomenon detached from fitness?

What's your opinion of apple pie?

To try to remove the word motherly there, your comment could be written as:

Most men are worse parents than most women.

Do you think that is a good representation of what you are saying? Do you think it's true? Are men inherently worse at parenting, or is there something else at play?

And I would also like to know what your evidence is for that.

I think we are coming close to some of the issues causing the current fertility crisis.

Men and women play two different, complementary, and equally necessary roles when rearing children. Still, rearing children is more time-consuming for the woman than it is for the man.

> Men and women play two different, complementary, and equally necessary roles when rearing children.

Numerous studies and several meta analyses found no significant differences between children raised by 1 man and 1 woman, 2 men, or 2 women. Studies or interpretations which found differences made errors such as not controlling for divorce.[1]

[1] https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equali...

Big if true

Reply on news.ycombinator.com