Been running jabberd for probably >10 years. Horrible experience (for the users) and terrible clients. Sometimes you'd just appear online while not sending/receiving anything.

I switched to Nextcloud Talk after Skype shutdown and migrated all my family there. They love it. We have a private cloud, we can share photos and other files, great mobile support... The only issue at the moment is relatively long delay before receiving a message (up to 30secs?) since I've been too lazy to setup redis.