I've got a nice mailu config and wanting to expand with Nextcloud (or alternative) and likely xmpp services... I mostly use a pretty light host VM and docker compose configuration to make up/down/backup/restore pretty smooth... I'm not currently running across multiple servers, but do want to be able to have a slightly more consistent config... I've got a combination of Caddy and Traefic on the different servers for TLS and all my apps are /apps/appName/(data|docker-compose.yml) on the server(s). Which keeps my maintenance chores relatively simple from a couple remote ssh commands and rsync.
Mostly been a bit lazy in terms of getting this all done.