Two things are rarely mentioned
When you compare apples to apples, male vs female engineering manager with similar backgrounds, the pay is the same. In the Bay Area it favors the woman.
Desire has a large part. It’s no coincidence that the countries with the most women in programming are places like India and China, where they are given little choice. If you can do the job, you do it because otherwise poverty.
When women don’t have to, they don’t.
Considering that women can offload the hard parts to men (hard work and competition) they would be stupid to not do so. Funny thing is that when they don't, they stop making kids, which means that they don't have much value as women actually and end up being just weaker men (at least in the biological strength sense but it's also true for the IQ curve so...)
If at some point in the near future we could finally agree that women and men are not actually strictly equal and that it would be incredibly stupid and useless if it was the case, I would be extremely happy.