OP is probably not wrong, but also the article sounds a bit like written in the Final Destination universe.
But seatposts "apple-coring" riders through the saddle? What?
Or the chain springing out of the gear just while you're climbing uphill on the wrong side of a road next to busy traffic, and the sudden jolt throwing you off balance and making you sway into the traffic?
And the seatpost thing is one I've heard about - IIRC Peloton had to recall several million stationary bikes because of a similar failure.