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Comment by l0tics | Hacker News Reader

I would really like to have another 1:1 with my boss, but I am an introverted contractor with little-to-no experience communicating in a corporate environment. I'm stuck for fear of how much control they have over my life at the moment. How can I be honest with someone like that?

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One second, you lost me. You're the introverted contractor, or your boss? What is your boss like that is preventing honesty?

And sometimes, the best thing you can do is get to the next paycheck. Don't be sad to admit there are things you can not change. Good luck on your job hunting and I hope you find a better place (and boss) soon!

I've already got an offer by a startup and am currently weighing my options of staying vs leaving. The problem is that I'm not in California, so it's a bigger move than anything I've done before. But to answer your question, my boss is not preventing honesty. I don't have much experience with this but it appears to me that the corporate environment prevents it unless you are too valuable to lose or are respected there. The first time I made a mistake that annoyed our project manager we had a team meeting specifically to complain about my work, yet everyone was there and the statements were generalized. I was shocked that this is how it was handled instead of simply asking me why that had happened. I don't understand how to communicate without honesty because I've never attempted to do it before. I can't bring up issues like this without doing a private 1:1 and made the mistake of attempting that at the wrong time with depressing results.

You're too late to effectively communicate in a 1-on-1. You've got to begin the relationship with trust and respect the time to share grievances, successes, etc. Consider it a lesson learned for your next employment.

This is a good point. The power asymmetry is problematic for trust.

Trust is exactly the issue I am having. I can't trust someone that I cannot communicate honestly with. Why risk telling my manager any of my problems with the job when it is their job to potentially use that information against me? I wouldn't even know if they did. My brain starts overthinking the situation and I end up waiting until the only option is the worst one.

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