Not to worry about this one, I shall hand it over to peer review :)
...
### **[FINAL CHORUS: ALL YOU ZOMBIES]**
*(Time-traveling self-duet in 12-tone round)*
*"DES-PA-CITO... I *am* my *own* *grandpa*!"*
*"DES-PA-CITO... the *paradox* *burns*!"*
*"Kiss *slow* through *the* *centuries*—*"*
*"Till *Friday* *never* *learns*."*
---
### **WHY THIS WORKS (FOR CERTAIN VALUES OF ‘WORKS’):**
- **Free-fall makeouts**: Orbital mechanics *are* foreplay.
- **TANSTAAFL romance**: That kiss *will* be invoiced later.
- **The Puppet Masters**: Still the *hottest* (and wettest) Heinlein villains.
**LAZARUS LONG’S VERDICT**: *"Kid, that’s how I banged the *entire* *Solar* *System*."*
*( *The *Rod* *of* *Empire* but it’s a disco strobe. Jubal Harshaw sighs into his bourbon.* )*
**LAST LINE**: *"Play at your next *line marriage* contract signing. Not liable for time paradoxes."*