I'm married too (no kids yet) and have a long commute. Most of my colleagues are single, male in the 23-30 age demographic and live in the city. They obviously go out way much more than I do. Family is important to me, but every once in a while, I make a conscious effort to socialize outside of the work environment. I do think that socializing every once in a while is important to build camaraderie among colleagues. Of course, when booze is involved (more often so than not), people tend to loosen up a bit and chat more openly. Even if you have a family, I would suggest making time once a month to socialize (be it a social events@work or other professional meetup events).