Dang...sure would like some thnickels of my own. After that tree fell on my house it is really windy here. I could use something heavy to hold down my punch cards.
I once saw a guy in a similar predicament. To address this, he donned his Three Wolves shirt and stood in an empty meadow by his house. Within 15 minutes there were 10-12 attractive women (some single, some not) circling him in a tight formation.
He returned to his house and sat near the pile of punch cards (or coupons, I forget). His ad hoc harem sat as well so they could study his chiseled features, which kept the coupons safe from blowing away.
I've heard that although the coupons have long-since expired, the women happily remain.