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Comment by PaulDavisThe1st | Hacker News Reader

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It's broadly true though. It doesn't apply to all of us but as a group it's a thing.

Personally it's not for me, I'm a heterosexual male but I get on far better with women and find men's spaces intimidating.

I used to feel the same way as you but then I discovered I was wasn't really getting on well in female dominated groups after-all. It's all smiles and pleasantries on the surface but you're not one of them and aren't part of their gossip, but can quickly become the subject of it. If they really are trusting you with their gossip and speculations about other members then perhaps you truly can assimilate. There's also talking about sex which women do with each other far more readily than with men.

With my current close friends I get included in far more gossip than I care to be and know the intimate details of past partners, kinks, fantasies etc.

Maybe because heterosexuality is still the norm?

Yes, is that bad?

No, because homosexual men tend not to compete with men for women’s attention.

Precisely. So a group of men, some or all of whom are gay, will react differently to the arrival of a woman than one in which all are straight.

Sigh. Perhaps it's sometimes ok to discount <6% of the male population for the sake of conversational brevity? Are you implying that homosexual men are suffering by not having women at the clubs? They have other reasons to not have women in their spaces. What does your little snarky comment add to the conversation?

Yes, that's true. But I don't know that you're actually scoring a point here, because I do believe that if you take a group of all gay men, and introduce a woman, the group dynamic will change. Not the same change as when you have a group of straight men, or a group of mixed straight and gay men, but it'll change.

And on top of that, I've heard some gay men complain about straight women in their spaces. That's just another example of this phenomenon.

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