If a specific change in a monorepo is so centrally embedded it requires incredible effort to do atomically (the benefit of having the monorepo in the first place), you are still able to split it into multiple gradual changes (and "require coordinating several PRs over a couple of weeks and some internal politics, but that might also be split among different developers who aren't even on a dedicated build team.").
So in a monorepo you can still enjoy the same advantage you describe for multi repo, and you'll even have much better visibility into the rollout of your gradual change thanks to the monorepo.
as someone who works on core parts that are lively to break everything I spend half of my time just integrating things and anouther quarter trying to figure out how to make my things either less core or not need changes so often.
There's not really a way around that when you need some behavioral change for the code using the library.
I think most of the time the philosophical decision (more shared parts or better separation) is made before deciding how you'll deal with the repos.
Now, if an org changes direction mid-way, the handling of the code can still be adapted without fundamentally switching the repo structure. Many orgs are multi-repo but their engineers have access to almost all of the code, and monorepo teams can still have strong isolation of what they're doing, up to having different CI rules and deployment management.
This makes sense if you consider that:
1) Changes to system structure, especially changes to fundamentals when the system is already being built, are difficult, expensive and time consuming. This gives system designs inertia that grows over time.
2) Growing the teams working on a system means creating new organizational units; the more inertia system has, the more sense it makes for growth to happen along the lines suggested by system architecture, rather than forcing the system to change to accommodate some team organization ideals.
Monorepo/multirepo is a choice that's very difficult to change once work on building the system starts, and it's a choice you commit at the very beginning (and way before the choice starts to matter) - a perfect recipe for not a mere nudge, but a scaffolding the organization itself will grow around, without even realizing it.
Typically someone has read a few blog posts like the ones linked to, and have some vague ideas of the positives but don't have a full understanding of how how the disadvantages will shape their workflow.
I've seen people with experience at hobby or small scale successfully campaigning for a switch at work and then hitting a wall - in both directions. Updating every call site for a breaking change doesn't sound that onerous, and at a small scale it isn't. Having each team update versioned depencies doesn't sound that hard, and at a small scale it isn't.
Just like with languages, don't listen to anyone who tells you this will solve all your problems. One of the options are merely the least bad for your situation.