Hacker News Reader

Comment by leeroihe | Hacker News Reader

Even though I can't really afford it I'm going to start seeing a therapist. Right now just reaching for some kind of knowledge work that won't torpedo my resume. If I really didn't care I'd just go get a job at Fedex in Maine or Vermont.

What's most embarrassing is potentially having to stay at my parents to avoid sinking into my savings further. Obviously others are having a hard time to, part of the mental hurdle is acknowledging that what I thought were "interesting choices" has lead to me being single at 30 with only a few hundred k to show for it.

View on HN

Don't compare your life to others. Their measure of success is not absolute. You have to have a dream and follow it. But you can't dream while you're chasing the dreams others have for themselves or for you. Think for example of Jesus who at 30 was unmarried, childless, and left his career in carpentry to become homeless and help the poor and sick, yet he was so influential in history that we count our years from when he was born. Francis of Assisi did the same thing about 800 years ago, living with lepers and rebuilding a broken down church nearly by himself, and to this day even atheists have statues of him in their gardens. I'm not saying you should be like these people and follow their path, only pointing out that their path looked nothing like the stereotypical path people expect of you, yet they were far happier and more fulfilled than anyone you've ever met, not to mention their positive influence and legacies far outreach anything anyone you've ever met will ever achieve.

Fuckin hell. A few hundred K? That's an unbelievable sum of money from where I'm sitting. Manny times how much I've been able to save over 4 years of an SWE career.

You'll be ok. Move somewhere cheaper and work in tech for a non-tech company. There's no shame in relying on your parents if you have to but as someone that doesn't have parents or anywhere near the savings you do i really think you'll be alright. Being a SWE at a non tech company really will eliminate most of your issues with the work i think.

Yeah, move to a smaller town where apartments can be like $700/month and get a regular job to augment your hundreds of thousands of dollars of savings, you'll avoid starving and going homeless for a good 5 or 10 years that way, plenty of time to figure your life out. Plus you'll have more down to earth experiences that will help give you some seriously needed perspective.

I've lived in non target locales before and I like them - but I think I want to meet my wife before fully bugging out. SF dating is atrocious so I'm amicable to the idea of being in NYC for a bit.

If you weren’t having any luck in SF, nyc will improve your chances but it won’t fix it. NYC is a hyper competitive landscape for dating and the serious women are off market immediately. It also relies on dating apps very very heavily for serious relationships. I’d test the waters online before jumping head first.

I previously lived in new york for four years - but you're not wrong.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com