SF startups seem like a fucking nightmare. I live in a second-tier city and there's lots of six-figure, 9-5 software dev roles that are nowhere near as competitive. Consider relocating somewhere with a lower CoL and more sane culture?
That's the plan for now - if I found a job with decent enough salary I'd more than consider returning to New York where the culture is more sane and people do... anything other than just tech.
If your options are only SF or New York you're leaving a whole world of opportunities out.
Including, crucially, all the less expensive ones
These seem to have the most opportunity and most optionality. I've considered austin, but it seems pretty dead. Vastly prefer east coast.
No, “most opportunities” only if you want to work the startup grind. If you don’t, there are tech jobs in other cities that are boring stable 9-5 jobs if you don’t need Big Tech level salary.