Serious question for phk: Despite your rant, why do you continue to use autotools in Varnish? Is it because libraries that Varnish depends on require autotools? Or did you simply follow convention?
From my own time as FreeBSD release engineer I know that task must come with freedom to pick tools and methods, and therefore it does.
That doesn't mean I have to like the choice, but I have respect it, (or take over the build/release responsibility myself.)
Don't underestimate the size and demands of the job though.