I also know that you can buy toilet/bidet combos so I’m also open to replacing my existing toilet with one of those.
What bidets do people have experience with and would recommend?
1. Dryer. None of them push anywhere near enough air to do anything useful. I use a hair blow dryer.
2. Hot water. Although it is a bit of a shock, I prefer cold water as it helps shrink the hemorrhoidal tissues. Wife disagrees with this one so we set it on the lowest heat and I keep spraying until it gets cold.
Japan has these everywhere and 95% of them are Toto brand so that's what I went with and it has been great.
In all cases the actual toilet is made of porcelain, which as you might imagine does not lend itself well to installing motors and electronics. Even for units that are sold as a combo, the bidet is built into the seat/lid, which is exactly how the add-ons work.
I installed one of these on an existing toilet in my house and it was fine: https://alphabidet.com/products/alpha-ix-pure-bidet-seat
I've since swapped out to a different toilet that came with a built in bidet and it's also fine, not markedly better.
If you're replacing the whole toilet might as well just get an all in one with the guaranteed fit. If you weren't going to, there's no reason not to just get the seat.
People who haven't used a bidet before balk at the cold water, but honestly I think when you really need a bidet, the cold water is a godsend. And if you want heat, I think just throwing in more pressure does the same kinda job. Plus it's one less set of valves to have to worry about!
If you really hate it, you're only out $30, which I think is not that bad.
The nice thing with integrated ones is auto closing and auto flushing. Would love that but it’s so expensive.