Oh thank god Google has stayed so principled under political pressure! Even with the threat of being broken up, they’ve been a rock. And rest easy—your Gmail definitely isn’t being quietly indexed and funneled into some RAG system to help certain friendly agencies flag “disloyal” citizens for... let’s say, enhanced oversight.

As for “Don’t be evil” disappearing from their core values? Totally normal. Just streamlining the brand, I’m sure.

And of course, I hardly know anyone who’s lost years of email, only to have Google’s famously responsive support team leap into action and do absolutely nothing to recover it.