This will evoke mixed feelings, but having been involved in child development for a very long time, I can say that in some cases it is acceptable to carefully and very thoughtfully "spank" your child. Spanking should never be performed out of frustration or anger on your part. There should also always be a delay (at least a short one) between the incident and the spanking so as to allow some processing both for you and your child and to decide if it is right and then for them to internalize the punishment that is about to come. Additionally, spanking, in my opinion and experience, should only be performed when your child had injured someone since injury is something that they cannot restore or pay back. No matter the age, they must be made to understand the reason for such an action of spanking in connection with their action. I would caution, again, that spanking should only be utilized when there is no other restitution possible such as when they are harming another individual. I do not know of any states that directly outlaw such an action by parents, but if there are such laws, obey your laws.

Having said this, I would also tell you that you MUST only spank after you have:

0. Make sure your child knows here is this consequence if they injure someone. Let them know there is a consequence! Do not let them think that arbitrary punishments or retribution occurs. This will do more harm than good if you do not set the expectations. It's not entirely possible to always do this the first time or with very, very small children (such as a two year old that has a biting problem as an example and which is very damaging behavior).

1. Explained what is about to happen carefully and fully.

2. Only spank once or a couple of times in a very controlled and sterile manner. Do NOT get emotionally involved in the spanking except to feel bad that you are doing it. DO NOT SPANK IF YOU ARE ANGRY. DON'T DO IT. NEVER.

3. After the spanking show your child MORE love and care. Give them high levels of tenderness and show them that it hurt you to execute this punishment. If you can cry with them, CRY WITH THEM. This is very important to show forth more love after the punishment and by doing this you will actually improve your bond with your child and allow them to know that you harbor no ill will against them.

4. Remind them in the future about the consequences that will occur if they choose to harm someone else as they have done.

5. Always show your child love and always let them know you suffer when they suffer now and always. Learn empathy and if you cannot have it, then show sympathy and love them anyway even if you cannot feel such things yourself.