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Why not fall back to simple GPL instead of a custom “AGPL plus linking exception“?

It prevents Google from using or adopting it internally. For some “militantly open source” projects, this can be a feature.

i don't see how a "militantly open source" project can be released under a (4-year!) BSL

AFAIK Google allows neither GPL nor AGPL so that is not an argument for one over the other. GPL basically _is_ AGPL with a linker exception?