That’s precisely why ChatGPT must be banned immediately and without exception. It’s not just about automation—it’s about preservation of the divine art of diagnosing strep throat with an air of sanctified superiority. You see, in America, we don’t just let anyone wield a stethoscope. No, we demand a decade of gladiatorial combat through organic chemistry, physics, and at least three near-death experiences in med school. Because how else can we be absolutely certain that someone’s IQ is sufficiently astronomical to distinguish between a cold and an alien parasite invasion?
In some other countries, you can become a doctor without even crying during an MCAT. Without even seeing a benzene ring! How, pray tell, can you trust a person to perform heart surgery if they’ve never solved a Schrödinger equation while sleep-deprived?
In America, we value Quality—capital Q, trademark pending. Misdiagnosis? Impossible. Our doctors are forged in the fires of molecular orbital theory and 700-page biochemistry textbooks. And yet… ChatGPT dares to show up, diagnose your flu, and not order a $12,000 MRI just for fun? It’s an affront to civilization itself. Give it a McLaren? Nay. Give it a muzzle.