So in the the US you will be salaried and expected to be available for 40 hours a week. This does not mean you will be actively working 40 hours a week any given week. Especially if you are experienced. Work is mostly delivery based with very little regard to how long work actually takes to complete. This means that depending on your skill for advocating for reasonable delivery timelines and the culture of the company, you might be actively working anywhere from 20 hours to 60 hours in a given week. As long as you deliver your work on time and as expected, managers generally do not care how many hours you work whether below or above 40, but again they do expect you to be available for 40 hours a week. There is some expectation that you will check work communication channels outside of work hours, but there is no expectation for you act on the information you receive unless it is actually and truly important (this should be extremely rare.)

The reason you see people talking about terrible work hours is that when you are inexperienced you will definitely be working far more than 40 hours because you will not be able to hit your deadlines otherwise. Getting promoted within a company often requires worked extra hours, however working extra hours is not necessary for good reviews in a healthy company.

If you are a SWE and work for a tech company, you will find that taking European amounts of vacation is okay, again as long as you hit your deadlines. No one has ever cared that I take 6 weeks a year in vacation. But I also make sure to give plenty of notice on my vacations so the company can plan around my absence and I am generally considered to be a productive employee. I have never been laid off from a company. In fact I have survived 2 lay offs.

While US work culture is bad (I will self admit that I do like to work and sometimes work because I want to.), it is not as horrific as people like to claim as long as you advocate for yourself and ask the right questions in interviews to make sure that the team you will be placed on doesn't have ridiculous standards for performance.